


Tell Her the Honest Truth

by gillywulf



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Mutual Pining, POV Outsider, Post Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 19:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3866983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gillywulf/pseuds/gillywulf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Commander watches Clarke like she's the world's last ray of sunshine and she's a wilting flower. Clarke looks at the Commander like she's home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Her the Honest Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm fucking weak.

In the six months that Clarke Griffin is gone, life at the Ark falls into routine. Before then, your life consisted of taking control and trying to keep the murder you committed a secret. But now that's over. Now Abby Griffin is in charge with Marcus Kane at her side. You privately think Clarke would be better - she knows how to make the important choices - but you nod whenever she approaches you with a task. The ground becomes home, just like that small cabin you shared with your mom and Octavia, up until your mom was floated and Octavia arrested. Your ax delivers a particularly hard blow to the fallen tree beneath you at the thought of that night. It was useless to think about. Mom was gone and Octavia...  
  
You pause and glance behind you towards the tell-tale sounds of clashing metal. Lincoln is training her to be a better sword fighter, occasionally rewarding her with soft kisses. As a brother it's cringe-worthy, but it also makes you happy. After everything, Octavia deserves a little happiness. With the way her hand curls around Lincoln's cheek, you know she's taking full advantage of that happiness. You smile and chop the log again.  
  
"Mr. Blake" a guard pants his way towards you. Whatever was bothering him was obviously important. Camp Jaha was small, people didn't often run from one side to another.  
  
"What is it?" you ask, lodging the ax into the wood.  
  
"We've spotted movement, but it doesn't look like a Grounder" Possible Mountain Man? Unlikely, but worth a look. The walk to the front gate is short but peppered with people who are beginning to realize that if Head of Security was going somewhere with a guard, it probably wasn't good. Thankfully, they only trail behind you and no one actually asks what's happening which is a relief, because you don't know. As you approach, the other guards move out of your way to give you a better look.

Squinting to the tree line, you see a girl with long blonde hair - almost golden - meandering in the camp's direction. Your heart leaps into your throat because that's Clarke Griffin. Her eyes are glued to the gate and her jaw is locked into place, probably to avoid screaming. Her clothes are worn and weathered and the small bag she has thrown other her shoulder - where did she get that? - looks ratty and on the verge of falling apart. But you think it's weird how she's walking, like a Grounder headed for battle.  
  
Like the Commander.  
  
You don't like it, but you'd rather have Clarke a little different than not at all. As she comes closer, you can make out more details. There's a new scar that bisects her cheek and a new scabbing line on her chin. You wonder how she got them or if she'd even tell you. Her impassive face doesn't change when the gate opens and you step out. She merely eyes you, waiting for you to attack her. You think for a minute that she had lost her memory in the last six months, resulting in her lack of reaction. She comes to a stop only feet from you, her blue eyes calculating and watchful.You stare each other down for a moment and you absolutely hate to see her fingers itch towards a knife strapped to her thigh.  
  
"Where you been, princess?" you ask. Her face twitches at the nickname.  
  
"Around" God, you hate how happy it make you to hear her voice.    
  
"Well, if you'd like to hang around here, your kingdom awaits" That earns a smile, how ever microscopic. You don't hesitate to embrace her now, to crush her against your body because you _missed_ her. Your feelings for her aren't much of a secret, but you don't expect her to return them after Finn. You don't mind, really. She pats your back awkwardly so you release her and take her to her mother.

From there, it's a flurry of 'where were you?'s and tense silences that no one rushes to fill. In the days that follow, you and Octavia are the only ones she really talks to. You think she talks with Raven too, but after Mount Weather, the mechanic's legs work a little less than they used to and she prefers to stay pretty stationary, so you don't know for sure. Jasper avoids her and Monty tries to seek her out, but she stays tight lipped with him, offering only thin smiles and one word answers. It hurts to see.

She likes to help you chop wood and she always volunteers for the hunting parties. Whenever she goes, the party comes back with more food than the ones without her. Those six months were a long time. You start noticing other small changes. She always eats alone, her eyes are constantly moving, she never speaks unless spoken to, and sometimes not even then. If she can answer a question with a level look, she will. They're small things, but they worry you anyway. You haven't seen her smile since you met her at the gate and she definitely hasn't laughed. She makes jokes but doesn't laugh at them when everyone else does. It looks to you like she's trying to reassure your friends rather than actually try and be who she was.  
  
"Are you okay?" you ask in between the rhythmic ax swings a month after her return. She chops instead of answering so you sigh and chop yourself.  
  
"No" You don't really know what else you were expecting. She swings again.  
  
Two days later a grounder messenger rides into camp. After the Commander's betrayal at Mount Weather, the Grounders lost nearly all positive relations with the Arkers, so the general public stood around him, shouting insults and threats, sometimes even a stone. You rush to stop people, to placate their ferocity while trying hear what he has to say. Through it all, the horseman's face remains impassive and stoic. You're pushing a raging father out of the way when the Grounder drops from his horse and the crowd goes silent. He pushes through the suddenly fearful crowd and goes to one knee in front of Clarke who had just wandered over to see the commotion.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asks him, looking a little panicked. You think idly that it's the first time you've seen her display a new emotion in a long time. He raises his head.  
  
"Heda kom Skaikru did our people a great service when you brought down the Mountain. I myself had my bonded returned to me. I wish to thank you" You stare at Clarke, as everyone else does and you can see her breathing quicken and her jaw set. She doesn't know what to do and she hates it.  
  
"I-" She stops. Swallows. Tries again. "What is your purpose here?" Abby would probably be mad if she knew what was happening. Yes, she was technically in charge, but the people still looked to her daughter more than they did her. It was almost funny but you'd learned to stop laughing. The Grounder rose to his feet.  
  
"Heda kom Trikru wishes to renegotiate our alliance. She believes it to be beneficial for both our people" The statement is met with a stony silence. The crowd that had wanted to hurt the Grounder were now watching raptly, curious as to what Clarke would answer, but you are entranced by the fear and pain that suddenly take over her face. At the mention of the Commander, she stops breathing all together and she looks a million miles away when she answers him.  
  
"I am not in a position to make that decision on my own, please wait outside the gates while we talk it over" The Grounder dips his head low and obeys without a second thought. Only once the crowd starts to disperse do you go to stand beside Clarke, who hasn't moved a muscle since speaking last. Her hands are shaking.  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" She shakes her head but still goes to seek out her mother. Abby is shaking her head before Clarke even finishes explaining the situation.  
  
"Absolutely not. No more deals with Grounders ever. Especially not _Lexa_ "  
  
"Mom-"  
  
"How can you even _think_ about this after Tondc? And how she left us at the Mountain?"  
  
"Because I would not have hesitated to do the same thing" You see Abby clench her jaw and think about which traits are genetic.  
  
"Clarke, that's not-"  
  
"Yes it is. We need an alliance with them because we can't fight them and win. We have knowledge they want for that protection, and this time, no one needs to die for it" She waits for the statement to settle into their bones before continuing. "I can't have more people dying because of something I could have done" You see Kane start nodding.  
  
"I agree. Let's make the alliance" he says slowly. Abby shoots him a glare and turns to you.  
  
"Where do you stand?" Her tone is threatening, but you've killed people and nearly died. She doesn't scare you.  
  
"I've learned my lesson. I trust Clarke with my life. If she thinks it's right, then I'm all for it" She glares at you too before throwing her hands up in exasperation.  
  
"I don't matter very much, do I?" She storms out of the room but no one moves to chase her. You know that Kane will find her later and bring her around to understanding, because acceptance would be impossible. Clarke sends the messenger off with their answer, prompting the next day arrival of the Commander, her general, and her bodyguard. Even you have to admit it's an impressive sight.

They all wear their black face paint and battle armor. Just like the messenger they'd sent, their faces were blank slates. You try not to think about saying that same face on Clarke, who now wears it like a shield. She'd not looking at the Grounder leaders, in fact, they're any where but. The Commander's eyes however, never once stray from Clarke's face. there is a brief moment where she looks pained, but it's gone in a flash and you convince yourself that you didn't actually see it.  
  
"Heya Heda kom Skaikru" the Commander greets, flat out ignoring Abby and Kane. Clarke's jaw tightens.  
  
"Heya Heda kom Trikru. Taim stot au?" You're as surprised by the Trigedasleng as the Commander is. Her eyes widen and stare more intently at Clarke. She nods. Through the entire negotiation, the Commander speaks only to Clarke, who has yet to look in her direction. The blonde says not one word, Abby choosing to take control where she can, but that does not sway the Grounder. You start to wonder if maybe something happened between the two of them that you don't know about. After all, you were in Mount Weather for the majority of the alliance. Looking at the Commander, you think maybe that's how _you_ look at Clarke. There is a brief recess in negotiations and Clarke darts out of the room. She doesn't look back and she doesn't hesitate. You see the Commander sigh softly in defeat. Suddenly, this room is not the best place for you, so you go and find Octavia, who is reading in her room, slouched against Lincoln's side who is sketching quietly.  
  
"O, I need to ask you something" She glances up and you, then back down, flipping a page in her book.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Did something happen with Clarke and the Grounder Commander?" Your question startles both Lincoln and Octavia. She shuts the book and he looks up from his sketchbook.  
  
"What do you mean?" she asks, alarmed. The sudden intensity tips you off that you were right, but you need more and hopefully they tell you.  
  
"I don't know, Clarke won't look at her and the Commander won't look away. I'd say she's pining, but...it's _her_ " The couple blinks owlishly at you, then each other. They exchange rapid Trigedasleng which they know you can't follow then look back to you.  
  
"We don't know" Lincoln says with a finality. Their lie is obvious, but they won't tell you, so you roll your eyes and leave back towards the negotiation room. You can hear their hurried whispers as you walk away.  
  
"-want to talk, Clarke. That is all" The Commander's voice floats through the hall and stops you.  
  
"Well what if I don't want to?" You tred quietly to the room where Clarke is talking privately to the Commander and stand at the doorway, listening in.  
  
"Then I would ask you to just listen. I understand that you are angry at me. What I did was unforgivable. But I stand by my actions; my people will always come before anyone elses or my own feelings-"  
  
"That's not it" Clarke interrupts. Already this is almost too confusing for you to understand. The commander hesitates.  
  
"Then...what is it?"  
  
"Look, Lexa," You frown at the use of the Commander's name. Abby uses it because she doesn't really respect her, but it sounds too informal and familiar tumbling from Clarke's lips, too soft. "I understand what you did. And you were right, I would have done the same for my own people. I don't think we'd work. There's too many people who rely on us" The statement leaves you breathless. Oh. _Oh_. You wish you could look in the room and see what they looked like. Was this something you should have realized right away? Probably. Someone takes a step.  
  
"If we obtain this alliance, there will be an unprecedented peace. No more decisions, no more death"  
  
"For how long?" Clarke's voice is quiet and you imagine the words caressing over skin like her hands probably want to. "Peace never lasts as long as we want it to"  
  
"So why not take advantage?"  
  
"Hodnes laik kwelnes" The Trigedasleng is again jarring, but from the way the silence follows it, it sounds like the Commander is more surprised.  
  
"I was wrong. Osir keryon ste teina" This earns a pained chuckle from Clarke.  
  
"You can't tease me like this"  
  
"You know how lacking my sense of humor is" There is another strained laugh.  
  
"Lexa-" A silence slices through the conversation. You frown and wonder if maybe you should see what's wrong, but then you hear a noise that sounds suspiciously like kissing. You stay still. They kiss for an incredible length of time. You're well and truly impressed. "You have a bad habit of kissing me when you're not sure it's welcome"  
  
"You have a bad habit of kissing me back every time" Clarke's breathy laugh is muffled against skin. "If you are amenable, I would like to give this a try. Ai hod yu in" You understand that even though you don't know the words.  
  
"I think, we should we see how the negotiations go first. If it falls through, being seen together would be dangerous" The Commander must have shaken her head because Clarke asks "why not?"  
  
"My people love you," You hear the unspoken 'as I do', "they would never let any harm come to you"  
  
"Are you asking me to move in with you? Before I've even said yes to dating you?" Clarke is teasing her. You have to smile because even if it's not you or your friends helping her to get back to herself, it's still happening. You hear her kiss the Commander's cheek. "We'll talk tonight. Is that okay?" The Commander must nod, because then they're kissing again. "You've got to stop that"  
  
"I apologize. You're awfully tempting" You imagine Clarke rolling her eyes and trying to hide a blush.  
  
"Come on _Commander_. Let's get this alliance set in stone" They're coming towards the door you realize in a flash. The hallway perpendicular to the one you were in provides an adequate hiding place just in time to see Clarke and the Commander leave the room, their fingers interlocked. They're barely out of the room before the Commander tugs on their joined hands, pulling Clarke back to her for another kiss. You're amazed at how gentle it is. Whatever they have together - and obviously it's _something_ \- is real. If they had been just two normal kids, away from any leadership positions, they might have lived happy care-free lives together, kissing gently and falling so very much in love. Clarke pushes at her shoulder and bumps their noses.  
  
"You are a menace, come on" She drags the other girl down the hallway. Just as they turn down another hallway, you swear that the Commander's eyes lock with yours, but she's gone before you can confirm it. For a solid five minutes, you stand there in the hallway, absorbing the information. It was a lot to take in. Clarke - the girl you may or may not be in love with - may or may not be in love with your former enemy who definitely loves her. Eventually, you get your head around it and head back to the meeting room. All talking stops when you enter. You don't miss the Commander's usually stoic eyes narrow at you.  
  
"Nice of you to join us Mr. Blake" Kane says with a raised eyebrow. You press your lips together.  
  
"Sorry sir, I was getting an intel report" A blatant lie, but Clarke's eyes flash and you think maybe she knows that. "Let's knock this out, yeah?" You space out from there. You were only needed as a security detail anyway and pretty much none of the people in this room need your protection, so you watch Clarke and _Lexa_ instead. It's an experience. The Commander watches Clarke like she's the world's last ray of sunshine and she's a wilting flower. Clarke looks at the Commander like she's home.

You think that if Clarke looks half as happy as she does right now for the rest of her life, you don't mind if Lexa is the cause of it. Negotiations wrap for the day and you all file out of the room. The Grounders will go back to their camp in the trees for the night and rejoin you all in the morning. You grab Clarke's wrist before she can get too far. You don't talk until Abby and Kane are gone.  
  
"So. You and the Commander?" Her face flushes and she frowns.  
  
"Is that a problem?" she challenges. Ah, Clarke Griffin. Ever the fighter. You smile.  
  
"If you're happy, not at all. Now the princess can become a queen" She fights off her own smile and punches your shoulder.  
  
"Shof op"

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: Because I'm an idiot who didn't give translations!
> 
> Taim stot au? - Time to start? (Roughly. I couldn't find any direct translation, so I went with this)  
> Hodnes laik kwelnes - Love is weakness  
> Osir keryon ste teina - Our souls are entwined (Lexa, you fucking sap)  
> Ai hod yu in - I love you  
> Shof op - Shut up


End file.
